A Father’s Side: Melanie’s Birth Story (written by her Dad, Raf)

At 8pm on Wednesday, May 1st, I was sitting in my parked car with Lyia’s stepfather, Joe sitting behind. Lyia was on her way to the car with her mother, Lizette. She was standing just behind Lyia’s door and noticed that Lyia stopped walking next to the car. Now, I couldn’t hear what was going on but I could assume what was happening. Lately, Lyia had been getting annoyed when I would open the car door for her because her belly would get in the way and also she felt rushed to get in the car. It seemed that was what Lizette was doing for her and therefore, the cause for both of them not getting in the car. I thought there was a discussion on how Lyia can get in the car herself. Finally, Lyia just started to get in the car and she showed me the crotch of her pants. She exclaimed, “Am I wet, am I leaking!?” I thought, oh she must have peed herself again. Then she started saying that she couldn’t stop the leaking! Then it hit me! Her water has broken!

As we started to drive back home, Lyia wanted to call Liz, her midwife, but she didn’t have her phone. Her mom started yelling at her for not having her phone and then everyone started asking me if I had my phone. I told them that yes of course I have my phone and I started to take it out and realized that I didn’t have Liz’ number! Then everyone started to freak out because no one had any way of getting in contact with Liz! I thought, we are having a home birth because we wanted to avoid this freak out. Finally, everyone settled down and we made it home.

That night, Liz recommended that we get as much rest as possible. She told us that her water most likely just leaked and it was not a full on break. We started to time the contractions and they were lasting about 30 seconds. I was pretty optimistic and thought that these contractions were going to build up and eventually have a baby Thursday night or very early Friday. Throughout the day the contractions came and went and came and went again. Until finally late Thursday night, the contractions became stronger and Lyia could no longer talk through them. They lasted almost 1 minute and 40 seconds long and by midnight Liz had arrived at our home. Throughout the night I held Lyia’s hand to help her cope through the contractions.

By Friday morning, the birth team had assembled. There was Liz the midwife, Meredith the assistant, Becky the doula, Tiffany the photographer, Lizette the mother and future grandma, me the only male in the house besides Butterscotch, and Lyia the pregnant one in labor. Under Liz’ command and leadership we were able to help Lyia in any way that she needed and we each played our part on this wonderful, stressful, frightening, emotional, and ultimately the most memorable experience of our lives.

On Friday morning, Lyia started to doubt herself and she became worried. I realized that this is the transition phase. It’s the phase after active labor that transitions into pushing. I told Lyia that this is it. We are really close to having Melanie with us. However, this phase took much longer than anticipated and all the mental preparations I had made to help Lyia along with labor quickly dissolved and spiraled out of my control.

Lyia started to complain of a pain in her tailbone. Liz recognized this as Melanie being posterior so she had her lie in bed on her right side for two contractions, followed by two more on her back, her left side, and finally on her hands and knees. This was to help Melanie rotate into the correct position. Lyia began to sob and cry when the contractions would first appear. As the contraction would build and build Lyia could not breathe and she had the most agonizing expression on her face. Becky would press down on one side of Lyia’s pelvis to help open her hip. It helped, but not much. I would hold her hand and I could feel her struggling and suffering. Her pain was mostly in her lower abdomen and as the contraction peaked, she would scream out in pain. Her breathing became shallow and scattered. Her jaw and her whole body trembled throughout the worst of the contraction. Her eyes were swollen and red from all the tears. This routine was repeated two or three times alternating between standing, rolling on the yoga ball, sitting on the toilet, and lying in a warm bath.

Throughout the day, my emotions would rock back and forth between strength and frailty. I again was holding Lyia’s hand throughout her contractions on what would become her last rotational routine. While she was lying on her side, her tears stopped. She just had no more to cry. After the scream of agonizing pain and all the trembling, she looked into my eyes and said nothing, but I knew what she wanted to say. I just held her hand as strong as she was holding mine because I had no words to say. If I did, my voice would betray me and I could not be the strength and support she needed. I felt utterly helpless as my wife lay in agony and frustration. At this point it was late afternoon and besides her suffering, Lyia was exhausted. After a contraction she would start to snooze away. I took this opportunity to go out and walk Rajah knowing that she would wake up to pain and fear. But I needed to step out for at least a few minutes. Rajah did her business out on the grass and we started to make our way back to the apartment. That’s when I felt overwhelmed. I stopped and dropped my knees to the grass and extended my arms. Rajah knowingly sat next to me and snuggled her head into my chest. I began to sob helplessly. All I could think was that my wife is suffering so much and there is nothing I can do about it. I felt useless because I couldn’t stop her pain, felt guilty because I stepped outside, and I felt weak because I was overwhelmed. After each sob, Rajah would lick my arm and snuggle again, then lick my cheek, then snuggle in my chest again.

I felt rejuvenated once more. I came back and went straight back to embracing my wife’s hand in mine. Soon we moved back to the living room. It was already covered in incontinence pads to help contain the mess. Lyia sat on the ball and rolled back forth in circles. I sat in front of her holding her arms as she gyrated. I also held her arms because she would start to nod away. We rolled her forward whenever a contraction would appear. Liz recognized that she was soon starting to push. She put her hair up in a ponytail and this was the signal that we were in business.

Liz was checking Melanie’s heartbeat after every contraction. Then Melanie’s heartbeat dropped and Liz told Lyia to go to her hands and knees. We got rolled up towels to put under knees and brought the ball in front of her so she could lay her body over it. I sat in front of her and the ball and kept rubbing her back. Lyia rolled back on the ball when she would feel a contraction and I would roll forward with her and end up on the ball myself. The screaming had stopped and the crying had subsided. Lyia started to really growl during her contractions. She became an animal. She started to really bear down during her contractions. Lyia was holding my sides when she was bearing down. I started to feel her nails really dig into my sides. Then a really hard contraction came. Lyia moved her hand from my side to my nipple. When the contraction hit its peak, she grasped hard and twisted. There was a fire in my nipple that I had never experienced before. I just breathed and as the red, hot pain radiated out of my chest I said, “You’re doing great, honey, you’re doing great.” Luckily, after that contraction she let off my poor little nipple and moved up to my shoulders where she would leave her nail indentations for two days.

Lyia pushed for close to an hour and we all gave her words of encouragement. In between pushing, Lyia would roll back up on her ball and rest. She rested so much that things got quite and then we heard her snoring. Lyia continued to push through and Liz would update us on her progress. She then told Lyia that she would place Melanie on the ground and all she needed to do was sit back and pick her up. The time we’d all been waiting for was upon us. She bore down hard then she was out! Lyia rolled off the ball and in the second it took me to move the ball out of the way I thought, I’m ready to see my tiny infant daughter. When I moved the ball and saw her I thought holy crap that’s a gigantic baby! When Lyia finally picked her up she held her against her chest. Lyia looked so happy, relieved, overwhelmed, beautiful, and alive. It was over. I thought that I should grace this moment and say something deep and emotional, something that would resound through the ages. So I said, “You did it! You did it!”

I became a daddy. I held Melanie for the first time while sitting next to Lyia. When the afterbirth came out, Lyia and I were moved to the bedroom. I cut the cord while I held Melanie. However, Lyia continued to bleed. I watched Liz work hard to control her bleeding. We came so close to going to the hospital because so much blood was lost. But Liz was able to manage and control the bleeding. I can’t thank our midwife enough for doing such an amazing job of stabilizing Lyia. I became so worried and frightened with all the blood because on the one hand I could have lost my wife and very literally on the other hand I was holding my new born daughter.

When Lyia was stable, I gave Melanie her first bath in our kitchen sink. She was so calm and so beautiful. I was so jittery from all the stress that had happened and from the blissful joy of finally holding Melanie. I dressed her in her first outfit and then went to check on Lyia. She was recovering slowly and resting. I lied on the couch on my side and cradled Melanie in the nook of my arm. She and I started to doze off together. We then went to the bed so we could all rest.

 

Previously, I had experienced mental exhaustion after defending my thesis as a grad student, physical exhaustion from running a half marathon, and on this day I finally felt emotional exhaustion. I could never experience what Lyia went through but I can say that it was both the most difficult day and the most rewarding. We gave birth as a team at home. The journey to fatherhood was exhausting but we did it in the comfort of our own home. We could walk or rest when needed. We could comfort Lyia the best way she needed. I wouldn’t change this for anything else. We had our first night as a family in our own bed. I want to thank our birthing team from the bottom of my heart. They helped my daughter come into this world safe and sound. She is now my reason for being and for living. My wife labored for two days and did a beautiful job. She is now more beautiful than I could ever imagine. I love her and admire her. Because of her, I was that guy she was seeing, then I was the boyfriend and then a fiancée. When we were married I became a husband. And now my journey as a man has reached a new level. Lyia has given me the opportunity of a lifetime and one that I have been eagerly awaiting. With her help, I am a Father.

 

Melanie’s Birth Story (written by her Mom, Lyia)

“Being pregnant and giving birth are like crossing a narrow bridge. People can accompany you to the bridge. They can greet you on the other side. But you walk that bridge alone.”  – African Proverb

 

Labor started on Wednesday, May 1^st at 8pm. I was 40 weeks and 5 days.

I hadn’t noticed anything happening that day other than Melanie moving around a lot and my back hurting, but no more that it had been in previous days. My momma was in town, Raf (husband) was supposed to be at work until 6, and Joe (step dad) was arriving in town at 6:30 to be picked up at the airport. At 5:30 my mom and stepdad came back and we decided to go out to Chili’s for dinner. On the car ride there we were all joking and laughing and Joe commented “…oh the baby was just waiting for me to get here no worries you’ll have her tonight!” (Completely a joke!), I replied back with a “yeah right whatever” answer then right afterwards I said “…watch I really WILL go into labor tonight!”

 

When we got inside and seated I saw that Chili’s now offers pizza! I was so excited because Raf was trying to limit the shitty foods I had been eating and I had been craving pizza for a while…so of course I ordered it. Joe then told me that one of his coworkers said for me to eat lots of pizza…that there is something in the sauce and that I would definitely go into labor if I did….I remember thinking that that guy sounded like an idiot! By the end of the meal I had started to feel something weird though going on right above my pubic bone, so naturally I went to the restroom and peed then thought everything was fine. When we got to the car everyone got in but mom and me, I all of a sudden felt like I was peeing my pants, but I couldn’t control it! It stopped me right in my tracks and mom looked and me and said what’s wrong. I finally looked back at her and said THERE’S SOMETHING COMING OUT….OH GOD IT’S NOT STOPPING IT’S NOT STOPPING!! She said calm down and get in, it’s time to go home, you’re water is leaking out.

 

When we got home I called my midwife and told her that I had leaked on the way home and that it had gotten worse and that I also started to have very light contractions. I remember thinking the entire time though that the contractions wouldn’t last and was just waiting for them to go away like they had done in the days prior. We started timing the contractions and they were 5 to 7 minutes apart and only lasting about 30 to 45 seconds. My husband and I decided to get some sleep since the contractions weren’t that bad.

 

The next day my contractions had let up a little bit and by around 5pm I had only had maybe 2 or 3 contractions in an hour and I was also not leaking anymore fluid. Liz told me to get some more sleep and just relax my body then it might pick up again. At 6:30pm I already had an update for Liz! My contractions came back with a vengeance and I was having my bloody tinge. By 10pm contractions were lasting close to 2 minutes and were about 5 minutes apart. At this point…I was scared because I knew it happening!

 

Liz came over at around midnight, May 3^rd, when I was officially in active labor.

For the next 6 or 7 hours I my contractions slowly got harder and more difficult to get through. In that time period my midwife’s assistant, Meredith, made her way over along with my birth photographer, Tiffani (who were both AMAZING!). I’m sure this part was pretty boring for them though; I had trouble watching them watch me because they couldn’t do much and it made me even more anxious. At about 8 am my doula, Becky (another AMAZING lady), came over and at that point I was thinking I was so glad that MY doula was coming over to help Raf and me. I don’t remember what position I was in when she finally arrived, I DO remember though that I had started to doubt myself and I knew that that was a good sign and that I might be in transition already.

 

…I was wrong! I was still in active labor, I think, unless it’s possible to have two transition stages. Between 9 and 10am I got a break which in my head told me that my transition stage was over and that pushing was about to begin (I had read that sometimes your body gives you break right before you push) so I was in a pretty good mood. I ate a grilled cheese sandwich and my birthing team playing a guessing game and wrote down all of their guesses about the birth and baby on a paper. At that point I had guessed that I would have her at NOON….holy cow I was so wrong!

 

After 10 though my contractions came back and were pretty tough again and by noon I was in the worse pain that I had ever felt at that point. I think my “for sure” transition phase started soon after noon. That lasted until about 5 or 5:30 PM, I think. I remember I was so sad that I hadn’t had her already and I thought that nothing I was doing was helping her come out and I kept saying “she’s never coming…”and “I’m not doing anything…” Becky and Liz both kept encouraging me and telling me that every contraction that I had WAS doing something. At one point I remember going to the restroom and looking into Raf’s eyes (we were alone finally) and crying and telling him “I can’t do this, I can’t take the pain anymore…” Raf couldn’t say anything back to me other than “It’s going to be okay.”

 

Another really tough point at this time was when they moved me to the bed to lay down in order to move Melanie out of the posterior position. Right when they said I’m going to the bed I started crying…hard… because I knew that it would hurt worse since my lower abdomen and tailbone were already hurting if I tried laying down. I had to go through two contractions on my right side, two on my back, two one my left side, then two on my hands and knees. With every contraction on the bed though I was crying and screaming harder and harder. My entire body was shaking and convulsing from the pain and fear. In between contractions though I got a much needed break and everyone told me afterward that I slept a lot when I had those breaks.

 

Around 6pm, I realized that I stopped crying and really needed to get into a position that was…different. It’s hard to explain the feeling because these contractions were so different. They hurt still but they were NOTHING like before. I was sitting on my exercise ball and with every contraction I had I was maneuvering my body to go into a squatting position and roll off the ball. Raf was in front of me holding me up, Becky was behind me helping me roll on and off the ball, and my momma was beside me helping Raf hold me up when I would go down. Liz was in front of me checking out my vajay and doin’ her thing! I remember the moment when she put her hair up in a ponytail and we ALL knew that things were getting serious and I was REALLY about to start doing some work. I remember when she got the oil out and started to help stretch me out, she stuck her fingers in and I remember SCREAMING! She looked at me and said something along the lines of…”Look…your cervix is in the way, you need to calm down. I can either go back in one more time and help move it or we can go back to the bed!” Once I heard “bed”I started crying and said something like…“No no no just do what you need to do, I’ll deal with it.” I did NOT want to be lying down at all.

 

At this point Liz was checking the baby’s heart beat after every contraction and Melanie’s heartbeat started to drop pretty fast. Right away Liz had me change to hands and knees position in order to get baby’s heartbeat back up to normal. Right when I got to the new position, heartbeat was perfect…and stayed that way for the rest of the birth. I was in that position for at least an hour I think.  I felt like I wasn’t that long though because after every contraction Raf told me I slept for the whole 5 to 10 minutes so in my head I was only having a 1 or 2 minute break so the whole pushing part felt like it only lasted 20 minutes or so.

While I was in this position my urge to push got stronger and stronger with every contraction. Soon I FINALLY got the feeling to bare down and push. I felt like I pushed through 15 or 20 contractions…and with every push I could FEEL Melanie’s head moving down farther and farther. We have a scaling system to tell us how far down the baby is when we push, so when I pushed I kept hearing that I was at a 3. I knew that 4 came next, then she would be crowning, then she would be out! Once I got to a 3 I was thinking thank GOD I have 2 more contractions to get through then she will be here, well…I had another contraction and heard Liz say “Okay, she’s at a 3 ½.” I think at that point I started crying because I didn’t know that I could be into the fractions so I started to get discouraged and started to say she’s “never coming, she’s never coming.” Obviously she was.

Well, I finally pushed past and got to a 4 and thought…I’m going to do this…the next push I’m pushing hard and I’m getting her head out! That’s what I did! I pushed so hard and feeling her and knowing her head was coming out helped me push even harder…once I started crowning everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, in the room started screaming at me NOT to push so hard and to breath so that I wouldn’t tear. I remember thinking not a chance in hell I’m going to stop pushing then in the same moment I thought NOPE I don’t want to tear so I think I took two breaths then started pushing again. Her head was out! I was on my hands and knees and could feel her moving around down there and I thought that was such a weird feeling. I was waiting on another contraction to come so I could get her shoulders out. That contraction finally came and I later found out that she had shoulder dystocia which meant that her shoulders were stuck. That shaking around feeling that I thought she was doing was actually Liz helping get her shoulders out. That next contraction came though and Liz helped her out and I felt a big POP then she was out.

 

I looked down to the floor where Liz put her and said, “WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?” I remember everyone laughing and saying  “…pick her up”, before I picked her up and put her on my chest Liz removed the cord from around her neck.  Raf and I just looked at her. I had about 3 or 4 minutes of looking at her and not believing that she was really here.

 

After the placenta came we moved to the bed and Liz started checking me to make sure I was okay. I ended up going into a little shock because I had A LOT of blood clots that she had to go in and sweep out. OUCH! After that though I was in lala land but remember being so happy it was over and my little girl was here. She weighed 9 lbs 2 oz and was over 22 inches long!

 

Once I came to, I realized what I had done and remember having a conversation with Liz telling her that I was in disbelief that I was actually able to go through with the experience and that I was so proud of myself! I wouldn’t change my experience for anything.  I think one of the most important parts to my birth story is that I really did have an amazing team to help me, not only did I have my family there and my doulas but my midwife, Liz, was amazing. She was so calming and made me feel so safe for the entire birth. Not only was she confident, but she made ME feel confident about what I was doing. She was a constant support for all 9 months! Almost one week after birth I still feel comfortable calling her, everyday if I have to, and asking a ton of questions about what’s going on with my recovery and my baby. …and I know that she would be over here in an instant if I asked.

 

 

I’m so grateful that I had my birth team with me and for all of the support that they gave me. Not once did anyone make me feel like I couldn’t do it. I’m especially grateful for my husband who stayed by my side the entire time. I fell more in love with him that day, the day our baby girl made her way into our arms.

How to Make the Best Out of Your Hospital Birth

By Liz Derry, CPM, LM, birth doula

Before the Hospital

1. Do your homework.
   1.  Research the hospitals in the area and their common birth practices.  Do they have portable monitors for the laboring mother?  Do they have squat bars available for pushing? Do they have birth balls available?  What is the c-section rate?  How often do they use Pitocin or other medications to induce or augment labor?  Do they allow family members in the room for the labor and birth? Is there a limit to the number of family members. What is the nurse to patient ratio for the labor nurses. What is the experience of other people you know who have attempted a natural/ un-medicated childbirth
   2. Research your care provider.   How many other doctors are in his/her practice? What is the likelihood that he/she will be at your birth if you go into labor on your own? Are the other doctor(s) in the practice also friendly to natural childbirth options.  How does your doctor feel about natural childbirth? Will he/she allow mom to go into labor on her own, and how far past the due date will he allow her to go before talking about induction? How does your doctor feel about doulas?
   3. If possible, Hire a doula.  Local Corpus Christi doulas include:  Liz Derry with Bay Area Birth (361) 904-6868, Aislynn Campbell (361)538-3373, and Cassie Soule (361) 446-1721
   4. Avoid Induction if at all possible.  Ask your care provider early on in your pregnancy how far past your due date he/she is comfortable with you going.  It is important that he/she is supportive of your choice to let baby come when he/she is ready.  Remember, that even if the doctor is pushing for an induction, provided your baby is doing well, you still have the choice to refuse induction.  ACOG (American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology) describes post date pregnancy as beyond 42 weeks gestation.
   5. Labor at home as long as possible.  At home, Mom is able to move about freely, eat and drink to comfort, has only loved ones around, and is not restrained by tubes, wires and monitors.  Mom will be most comfortable laboring at home.  Labor at home until contractions are consistently 3 minutes apart (lasting 60 seconds or more) and starting to get a little closer, or, if you live 30 minutes or more away from the hospital, are consistently 3-4 min apart.  If mom starts showing other signs of transition, such as self-doubt, nausea/vomiting, head in to the hospital immediately.

After You Arrive At the Hospital

1. Get the nurse on your side. Be nice to the nurse.  Ask her for her help.  Thank her for everything she does.  Praise her when she has done things well or gone out of her way.  Instead of saying things like: We want the baby with us at all times.  We want delayed cord clamping, etc.  Try saying: we were really hoping if everything is ok to keep baby in mom’s arms for the first hour after birth.  Could you talk to the other staff and help us make that happen? We have talked to our doctor ahead of time about delayed cord clamping, but were hoping you might be able to help us by reminding him prior to delivery that that is our desire?  We really want to have an un-medicated birth.  Anything you can do to help us with that would be wonderful!
2. Get out of bed.  Even with the monitors on, you can typically do things like sit on a birth ball, stand or walk at the side of the bed, sit in a chair beside the bed, kneel in bed and lean over the edge or over the ball.
3. Go to the bathroom frequently.  This gives you an opportunity to get out of bed more, and move around as much as possible. Ask the nurse to show you how to connect and disconnect the monitor to go to the bathroom and ask if it is ok if you do it yourself.
4. Get permission to eat and drink from your doctor ahead of time if possible, and if not at least ask the nurse to get the ok for clear liquids while you are laboring.  You need them for energy.
5. Ask for a heplock (a small plastic tube left in your vein and secured in place) for your IV instead of continuous IV fluids if at all possible.  This will give you more freedom of movement.

Jonathan’s Birth Story, Written By His Mom, Cassie

December 11, 2011

It was somewhere around the 28 week mark that it finally sank in that I was about to give birth. My most recent sonogram hit me between the eyes like a 2×4, and I realized at some point that the beautiful child I already loved was going to have to find a way out of me to make his entrance into the world. I stopped and asked myself, “What do you really know about birth?” My first thought was that it hurt, an epidural was a shot they could give me to make it not hurt, and that I’d lay in bed and push him out the old fashioned way. Cesarean sections scared me, so I knew I wanted to avoid one of those if possible, but if the baby needed it, I’d be ok with it too.  Then I pulled up Google, and that’s when the panic hit.

Fast forward a week (and a lot of research), and I contacted my doula, Liz, to set up a meeting to feel her out. I was worried about her being militantly against pain medicine, as I was for sure set on getting an epidural (at this point, even after all the other things I researched, I had yet to look into what an epidural was). I had a preconceived idea that all doulas and midwives were so into natural birth that my wishes would be ignored and I would be made to feel guilty about using an intervention if I wanted one. I made my husband, Kristopher, go with me because I was super nervous, and I also wanted him to be the one to ask how much it cost. We met at the Starbucks, and Liz put me at ease immediately. I threw it out there that I was probably going to get an epidural, and she said that she would be with me regardless of what choice I made. Boy was I surprised! And then I felt a little bad for lumping all doulas and midwives together and assuming they’d be pushy. We talked for a while, and even though I didn’t tell her (or my husband!) at the time, my mind was made up that she’d be the one to help educate me. That’s what I really wanted more than anything, someone that dealt with birth all the time to answer my questions and to reassure me that it was possible to give birth. I know it sounds silly, but once that fear creeps in, it can take hold and you can start to second guess yourself.

Liz came to our house several times and spent HOURS answering my questions and sharing information, all the while this knowledge was instilling the confidence I needed to be mentally, emotionally, and physically ready for the birth.  At some point I researched what an epidural was, and far from being a ‘shot’ it was actually more serious than I expected. My mom is a quadriplegic, and while rare, an epi can sometimes cause paralysis. When I read that, it really freaked me out. Maybe it’s the front row seat I’ve had to her journey, but I decided then that no matter how painful it was, I was not going to have an epidural. I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage that, but Liz helped with that too!

Thanksgiving arrived and I was SO hopefully that my little baby would be born over the holiday so that my husband could spend the extra days off with us. That didn’t happen, and I soon found my estimated due date fast approaching. About three days before I was due I had a doctor’s appointment where they wanted to check my fluid to make sure he was still doing ok. While in there, they also took his measurements. I thought all was well until I arrived at my doctor’s office and she burst in and said that my baby was so large! This was a major surprise since I had lost 30 pounds in pregnancy due to all day morning sickness, and every other sonogram showed him right on target size wise. She said he was measuring well over eight pounds and that he could even be into the nine pound range by birth.

It was a Wednesday afternoon and she said the good news was she had an opening for an induction on that Friday. I stared in shock and took a second to collect my thoughts. She said she knew I wanted to go the natural route, but at this point my baby could be too big and could get stuck during the birthing process if we let him grow any bigger. I didn’t know what to say! I felt blindsided! After much discussion and many refusals on my part, I left her office determined to at least wait until a week after my due date, but also completely in tears with the feeling that I was risking my son’s life. I made it down the elevator and I stopped and called Liz. I was almost in a full blown panic. Was I hurting my son? I would do ANYTHING for him to arrive healthy and perfect. Doctors sure do know how to beat you over the head with what could go wrong.

Liz calmed me and reminded me that I didn’t have to make a decision right that second, that I needed to go home, talk with my husband, and weigh each set of risks. Either way they both had risks, and I had to choose one set over the other and be at peace about it. I had been sitting at 4cm for almost two weeks. I really felt like he was going to come on his own, so we made the decision to wait.

By 2am Sunday morning, labor had begun! Being the newbie that I was, I just assumed it was more Braxton Hicks and rolled over to go back to sleep. A little after 4am I awoke with a start to the most intense contraction. It stopped and I thought to myself, “Could this be it?!!” I quietly got out of bed and boom, another hit. I didn’t think too much about it and decided to take a quick shower to shave my legs just in case I really was in labor. While in the shower I had several more contractions, all the while not putting two and two together that they were getting kind of close. After the shower, I started pacing the floor and that’s when my husband woke up and asked if I was ok. I told him I thought I was in labor, but that since it was my fist baby, we would have many hours to go. He asked me if I had timed them yet and I said that the contraction timer was wrong because it kept saying they were 3-4 minutes apart. I told him to go sleep in the guest room and I’d come get him when it was closer.

At this point I didn’t realize that he had timed me himself on his phone, and being a little more with it than I was at that second, he started quickly loading the car up. He came in and told me to call Liz and I argued that it was the wee hours of the morning and we should let her sleep until we needed her. He promised me it wasn’t too early and that I just needed to call. I tried calling but didn’t get an answer, so my husband made me get into the car to go to the hospital. At the time I was pretty mad, because I was convinced that we would get there too early and I wouldn’t deliver fast enough and they’d induce me. My water still had not broken and my crazy brain kept telling me the clock was wrong. We made the drive from Portland into Corpus and into the hospital. We checked in and they made me sit in a wheel chair to go to L&D (I wanted to walk since sitting hurt). I looked up and the first thing I heard was, “Hi Mrs. Harig!” Nothing like having one of your students’ mom say hi in one breath and have you strip and sit for a cervical check in the next! I think I said something along the lines of “I’m glad you see a lot of pregnant naked women all the time! “

The check revealed that I was at least 7cm dilated and that my waters were still intact. I had done so well managing pain, but then transition quickly hit, I really started feeling anxious, and I got a shot of something into my IV. It made me instantly vomit, and I felt so loopy and weird. This is where it’s a blur to me. It feels like I had the baby right after that, but in reality it was a few hours later. The IV pain meds slowed my labor down.  Somewhere around that time it was shift change and I vaguely remember a new nurse coming in. At this point I was so focused on each contraction and breathing through them that there’s a lot I don’t remember about those hours. A little after 8am I was told it was time to push. Up to this point I had annoyed them all by refusing to lay in bed and I kept walking around because moving was the only thing that helped the pain. Staying in bed made it too intense, but as long as I could walk, it was completely manageable.

To my immense relief, Liz got my message and arrived in time for my crazy quick birth. I pushed for a few minutes and that’s when the nurse panicked and said “STOP PUSHING!!!” I was trying to fight the contraction and keep the baby in while they went to find the doctor. He rushed in, put on some gloves, and all I had to do was relax and barely push and the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen made his entrance into the word. And it should be noted that far from the ‘huge’ baby they had predicted, my perfect little boy weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces. He made one little cry and then stopped and looked around at everyone. He was already so curious from the moment he was born at 8:45am, four and a half short hours after active labor had begun.

All I remember was crying and staring at him, I was so overcome with joy and love. My husband says I kept saying I love you over and over and over to him. I guess that oxytocin was really flowing!! It was an intense birth, but I was so happy it was quick, manageable, and that no interventions had to be used. Liz really helped me get breastfeeding going, and after a short one day stay at the hospital, we headed home. She came by the house a few days later to check on me again, and made sure breastfeeding was going well (here we are at 5 months and we’re still going strong!).

For those of you that are pregnant and have never had kids, I want to encourage you to find a friend or two that you can talk with honestly once the baby has arrived. Those first couple weeks are hard, and it is so much help to be able to confide in someone else that has been where you are and knows what you are going through. Quite by accident two friends from junior high/ high school that I hadn’t really kept in much contact with became a support group for me. The three of us all had our babies within 10 days of each other, and Dara, Amber, and I started a continuous e-mail about what was happening each day. I could just hug those girls for listening to my fears and triumphs.

Birth is beautiful! I have such an amazing feeling of success and confidence in myself! It is so empowering to create a human being, carry him in your womb for nine (ten) months, and then be able to have the strength and will to push him out.  I feel so blessed to be his mother, and I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful, loving, and supportive husband that has been one amazing dad. If you’re ever in a place of fear, educate yourself and have the confidence to birth on your own terms.

The Community Center Has Moved

This is just a quick post to let everyone know that we are now in a new location.  Our new address is 728 Elizabeth Street Suite 2. 

The other great news is that we are now sharing our location with Tiffani from Tiffcphotography and Cheona, our awesome massage therapist!  Many of you have already been to our new location attending classes and meetings.  We hope we will continue to see you and welcome many new friends this next year.

Please be sure to visit us at our facebook page, too, to see when our latest events/ meetings are scheduled:

https://www.facebook.com/BayAreaBirth

Birth of Alondra Abigail written by her mom

 (this was a birth attended by Liz when she was finishing up her midwife studies)

Alondra Abigail Ramirez was born at 2pm, Friday June 26. She weighed 8lbs 2 oz and measured 18.5 inches. She was born at home with absolutely no medical intervention. It was the worst pain I have felt in my life but worth every second.
 
My contractions started on the 25th at about 9am. It’s funny. People kept telling me that I would know when labor had started. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between my Braxton hicks contractions and actual labor. Well, they were all right. I even told my husband that it felt different.

It was like a Braxton hicks but it was accompanied by a slight cramp in the lower abdomen. I didn’t want to get my hopes up so my husband and I decided to wait a while before calling anyone. I went about my normal routine and Joe went to work. It was only the second day of my maternity leave so I thought that if this was it, then it was too good to be true.

The contractions continued with no regular pattern until about 2pm. That is when I noticed they were growing in strength and were coming every 7-8 minutes. First, I called my husband to give him an update. Next, I called Beth, my midwife and told her what I was feeling. She said that it was probably early labor. She asked that I continue to time them, get out of the house for a while and try to walk a bit. That is when I called the family. I told them not to start driving over just yet. They live about 3 hours away and I didn’t want for them to make the trip for nothing.

Around 5pm my husband and I went to the mall to walk around. They kept getting stronger and a little bit longer, but were still bearable. This continued until about 11pm when I tried to get some sleep. I couldn’t sleep thru them anymore. I started walking around the house at each contraction.

My mom and mother-in-law arrived at about 2am. That is when I tried walking outside. I was only able to make one round on my street. I had to stop walking with each contraction and lean on my husband. The walking still had an effect because once I got back home the contractions got closer together. They were only about 3 minutes apart and had me bent over the bed on my knees.
The next thing I remember is Beth and Liz getting there. Even if they couldn’t really do anything to take the pain away, I felt so relieved that they had arrived. She checked me and I was about 3cm dilated. This gave me some encouragement because it let me know that the contractions were not in vain, my little girl was closer with each one.

Beth and Liz were wonderful. Each contraction got stronger and lasted a little longer. I felt my body getting more and more tired and my emotional strength felt drained as well. Liz was massaging my lower back and applying counter pressure which helped a great deal but they contractions were still much worse than I had expected.

Being a first time mom, I didn’t know what to expect, all I knew is what Beth told me. Labor is intense. I guess that is why it is called labor. After that, I only remember bits and pieces. The next time they checked me I could see the sun was starting to come up and drain in thru the blinds. I was 7 cm and it must have been about 5 or 6 am. I was told it shouldn’t be much longer. Abigail should be here by 11am.

That is when things really increased in intensity. My water was ruptured which made the contractions significantly stronger. My mind or my body, I’m not sure which was having more trouble relaxing thru the contractions which was making them more difficult than they needed to be.

I threw up twice because of the pain after that. The next time, I was dilated to 8 cm, then 9 cm shortly after that. I told Beth that I was feeling the urge to push but she said that it wasn’t time. I hadn’t fully cleared the cervix and my baby’s head hadn’t slipped under the pelvis yet. It was already 12pm and Abigail still wasn’t here.

I felt a little discouraged and I could feel my exhaustion take a toll. After examining me again, Beth told me that my baby was at attention, tilting her little head up instead of tucking her chin into her chest. That is why she wasn’t dropping into the birth canal. She had me try different positions to try to reposition the baby’s head. At the same time Liz was manually maneuvering the baby’s head into position.

Finally at about 1pm, my baby’s head cleared the cervix and had slipped under the pelvis. Beth, offered me the birthing chair, which is like a toilet seat without the bowl. With these contractions, I could feel my uterus pushing on its own. It was the strangest feeling I had ever experienced.

It was similar to a dry heave but in your belly. I worked with my body at that point and began pushing little Abigail into the world. I was on the chair for about 40 minutes which felt like 10 minutes to me. I heard Liz ask Joe if he was ready to catch his daughter.
I felt such a sense of relief that it would all be over soon. Each push came with a feeling of happiness and almost pleasure. Once her head was showing, I was able to reach down and feel her little head. I knew then that she had a full head of hair.

A few grueling pushes later, she was in my arms, warm and squirmy. It was the most amazing experience of my life, I don’t think anything will ever top it. At that point I didn’t care about anything else except my child.

I wouldn’t have been able to do it without my wonderful midwives Beth and Liz or without my family. They never lost faith in me and encouraged me every step of the way.

(Liz is now the midwife here with Bay Area Birth and Beth is the midwife of ABC Midwifery)

Finally, We Meet (planned doula assisted hospital birth written by the Mom)

Finally, We Meet

                We found out on St. Patrick’s Day, 2011 that we were pregnant. It was a surreal moment. I wanted to get pregnant and was very excited about the experiences that I would have as a mother, however when I saw the positive pregnancy test, I just could not believe it! I had a wonderful pregnancy with mild morning sickness that lasted for the first trimester, and no other problems. I was able to maintain my work schedule and my normal activity levels and felt excited about meeting my baby!

                Initially, my doctor estimated that I would be due on November the 17^th, and then moved the due date to November 13^th after one of my ultrasounds. Well, November 13^th came and went, and then November 17^th came and went. I was really worried that I had started my maternity leave too early! Then, on Friday the 18^th, being very pregnant, I went to a local bar with my husband and some friends; that’s right, I said a bar (no need to contact child protective services. It was a low key, smoke free, piano bar, and I drank a Sprite). I was watching everyone enjoy their alcoholic beverages and took note that I was frequently going to the bathroom and it seemed like I was leaking! I called our Doula, Liz, who informed me that I may have a “hind tear” and could be leaking amniotic fluid! Oh crap…it’s finally happening! Liz told me to monitor the fluid and check my temperature from time to time to make sure I wasn’t getting a fever. I went to bed that night knowing that I would soon get to meet my daughter!

                I awoke early Saturday morning to very mild contractions. By lunch time on Saturday I noticed that the mild contractions were much more consistent than the Braxton Hicks contractions I had experienced previously. I got very excited at the prospect of the beginnings of labor! I was scared that if I didn’t keep moving, contractions would slow and labor would stall. So, Jeff and I decided to go out to lunch at my favorite Thai restaurant. Then, we went grocery shopping to stock up our refrigerator and pantry like a natural disaster was about to occur and we would never be able to buy food again! We didn’t know when we would have another opportunity to get groceries, so really stocked up! It was the late afternoon and I began timing my contractions which were still mild. At this point they were about fifteen to twenty minutes apart. Again, being concerned about stalled labor, I decided I would clean my house! Since I didn’t know when I would have the opportunity to clean again, and knowing that we would have plenty of houseguests once the baby arrived, I decided to go to town! By this point I was getting fatigued and would take occasional breaks by laying sideways on the couch while watching my favorite trashy television on my favorite trashy channel (Bravo, of course)! Cleaning was complete and I was still having mild contractions. I wanted to keep busy so I decided to start baking. I was incredibly nervous about going to the hospital and pessimistic about the labor and delivery nurses (I would be proven wrong). So, in an attempt to diffuse any crabby nurses, I planned to bring cookies with me in hopes that this bribe would buy me favorable treatment (turned out I didn’t need any bribes. The nurses were so amazing!).

                Throughout the day I kept in touch with Liz to let her know how things were progressing. Later that night Liz called and said that she would like to come over because labor would probably begin to progress soon. She encouraged me to get some rest. At about ten o’clock I laid down for a nap and I later heard Liz come in. I got out of bed to greet her when I noticed that the contractions had become a little more intense. They were still totally manageable, however I was now definitely taking notice of them. Liz suggested that I get some more rest. At about two o’clock I awoke to very noticeable contractions. It was becoming uncomfortable and I no longer wanted to lie down; I felt the urge to walk around and be active. Jeff and Liz were still asleep as I began walking laps around my living room and began fueling up on chicken, rice, and coconut water. After about an hour, I woke Jeff up and told him that the contractions were intensifying. He was encouraging and went to get Liz. The five of us (Liz, Jeff, two dogs, and myself) spent the next several hours in our living room. Our plan was to labor at home as long as possible. Contractions were still manageable, but definitely intensifying. I walked countless laps around my living room and stopped to lean over the couch during contractions. Liz encouraged me to visualize my cervix opening with each contraction, and although I felt like a new-age hippie, I turned inward, imagined my cervix opening, my baby dropping, and chanted “ooooppppennnn” with each breath during contractions. I felt really at peace and comfortable in my surroundings and was able to maintain my relaxed state. Liz showed Jeff some helpful touches and massage during contractions that felt wonderful! And, when I wasn’t walking laps I sat on a pilate ball trying to encourage my pelvis to make room for our baby. By this point I had no idea how far apart my contractions were as Liz had taken over timing duties. At one point I asked Liz if I was really in active labor. Don’t get me wrong, I was definitely having intense contractions that I had to work through, but I thought I would be screaming bloody murder at this point…I guess I watched too many episodes of A Baby Story on TV! Liz and Jeff helped me with each contraction and I was able to maintain relaxation and inner peace.

                By this point, everyone, even the dogs, were getting sleepy. All of us decided to take a nap. This was VERY uncomfortable. The idea of napping sounded fabulous, but laying down was extremely uncomfortable and felt very un-natural. However, I was super tired and knew that I needed to rest. I would wake up during contractions, and sleep for a few minutes in between. I must have gotten noisier during contractions because Jeff and Liz woke up and Liz told me it sounded as if I was nearing the transition phase and that we should get ready to leave for the hospital. This is where panic set in! I was very scared to go to the hospital. I was afraid that if we went too early, I wouldn’t be dilated enough and would be put on a Pitocin drip with a cascade of medical interventions to follow. As we were getting ready to leave for the hospital I kind of tried to stall. I was really scared and the pressure in my pelvis was increasing. As Jeff was rushing around getting the car packed and tending to our dogs, my head was spinning and I was feeling as though I was about to have an anxiety attack. In all of her calmness, Liz encouraged me and supported me. We eventually got ready to go and headed to the hospital at around 7am on Sunday the 20th.

                The ride to the hospital was very uncomfortable! Throughout the entire labor I had this impulse to get up and move around and now I was strapped into a seat unable to get up and walk around. I was relieved when we finished the short drive so that I could stand up and move around freely…that is until the hospital staff insisted I sit in a wheel chair even though I protested and asked to walk. When we made it to the labor and delivery floor I was greeted by a young nurse, Sandra. Sandra was AWESOME! Although she had to go through the routine triage where I had to lay in bed (reminder: I hated laying down during labor!) and strap uncomfortable monitors to me, Sandra was calm and very sweet. I anxiously awaited the staff to allow Jeff and Liz to join me as my contractions were intensifying. The on-call doctor came by and informed me that I had two hours to progress, otherwise they would start a Pitocin drip. Yikes! That was the last thing that I wanted! Contractions were very intense at this point and I maintained my anti-laying down campaign and worked through contractions while standing beside my hospital bed.

                At this point in the story, the details begin to get foggy for me. I can’t explain it or find words to describe it. It was very surreal and I turned inward. I had been an athlete growing up and I was always able to mentally shut things out to focus through the physical challenge. I relied on these skills with the support of my husband and Liz. I remember the contractions becoming so consuming and taking over every ounce of my being. Throughout these powerful contractions I stayed in my “zone” and before I knew it, I had a very powerful urge to push! Push!?!?!  I had no idea how I was going to push. It was a new sensation, but it felt relieving to push. The doctor came in and I think Liz spoke with her about pushing positions….again, details are kind of fuzzy around this point. I began pushing in a squatting position. Squatting felt wonderful, however it was a lot of strain on my upper body. Then Liz recommended I get on all fours and push. I consider myself a very modest person, and at this point I’m naked, with my behind in the air on all fours and I didn’t care. Child birth is a very liberating experience! Then we tried a side lying position. When side lying was recommended I was hesitant because I didn’t want to lie down. But, being very tired, I reasoned that I could lie sideways for a few pushes, then resume one of the upright pushing positions. I was surprised at how good side lying felt. Liz was supporting me from behind, Jeff was holding my leg up, and I pushed and pushed! During this fuzziness I recall Liz being emotionally and mentally supportive, Jeff was cracking jokes, and Sandra was feeding me ice chips. Looking back, I get teary eyed thinking about how supportive and wonderful everyone was!

                It certainly didn’t feel like it, but I was later told that I pushed for almost two hours…it felt like ten minutes! At 11:05 am, my beautiful daughter was born. Finally, we meet! Claire Elise was no longer the baby that I carried for nine months. She was now a tangible, tiny human being! By far, the best moment of my life! Again, details are fuzzy and the experience was very surreal. At some point I held my daughter, and although she was cheesey and gooey, she was the loveliest thing I have ever laid eyes on! After all of the commotion of weighing and measuring (seriously, can’t that stuff wait?) I breastfed my baby. It took a little bit of effort on both of our parts, but with Liz’s gentle guidance, and Jeff’s support, Claire finally latched, intensifying our bond. I don’t really remember many more details. At this point I had my baby in my arms, and I could care less about what was going on around me.

                I feel incredibly grateful for the wonderful pregnancy, labor, and delivery that I had. I feel even more grateful for the healthy and happy daughter that I have! I have no idea how I would have been able to manage without Jeff and Liz. Both of them have my undying appreciation. They saw me through the most challenging event in my life, and never did they show fear or worry. They were steady as a rock. They were amazing. The experience was amazing. Life with my new baby is amazing.